The Honest Truth About Health Resolutions: Why I Quit Quitting

My New Year’s Eve Disaster

Look, I’m gonna be honest. I hate New Year’s Eve. Always have. But last year, I thought, ‘Maybe this is the year I finally get it right.’ So, there I was, at some overpriced rooftop bar in Austin, sweating through my sweater, watching the ball drop, and making the same damn promises I make every year.

Lose weight. Exercise more. Eat better. Blah, blah, blah. By 11:30 PM, I was already setting myself up for failure. I mean, who makes life-changing decisions while tipsy on overpriced champagne, right?

Why Resolutions Suck (And Why We Keep Making Them)

So, what’s the deal with New Year’s resolutions? Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? I asked my friend Marcus about it over coffee at the place on 5th. He’s a psychologist, or at least he’s working on his PhD, so I figured he’d know.

‘It’s about hope,’ he said. ‘And also, we’re all suckers for a fresh start.’

‘Which… yeah. Fair enough,’ I replied. But here’s the thing: hope isn’t a strategy. And a fresh start is just a fancy way of saying you’re gonna try again after failing.

But we do it anyway. According to some study I found (and honestly, who knows if it’s legit), about 60% of us make New Year’s resolutions. And guess what? Only 8% of us actually stick to them. That’s it. 8%. The rest of us are just wasting our time and energy.

The Problem With ‘Health’

Here’s what pisses me off about all this. The word ‘health’ has become this vague, meaningless buzzword. It’s like everyone thinks they know what it means, but when you ask them, it’s just a jumble of clichés and half-baked ideas.

Let’s take diet, for example. I tried keto. I tried paleo. I even tried that crazy cabbage soup diet my cousin swore by. You know what? They all suck. And they all fail for the same reason: they’re not sustainable. You can’t live on bacon and avocado forever. And who wants to spend their life counting carbs?

Then there’s exercise. Oh, exercise. I remember this one time, I signed up for a gym membership. It was January 2nd. By February 14th, I was already dodging phone calls from the gym manager. I mean, I get it. Exercise is good for you. But if you hate every second of it, what’s the point?

The Vermont development projects update → Connection

Speaking of pointlessness, have you seen what’s happening with the Vermont development projects update? It’s like they’re trying to outdo themselves in creating spaces that encourage physical activity. And honestly, it’s kinda inspiring. Maybe if more places did that, we’d all be more active. But I digress.

What Actually Works

So, what’s the alternative? How do you actually make changes that stick? Well, I’m not sure I have all the answers, but I can tell you what’s worked for me.

First, forget about New Year’s resolutions. Seriously. They’re a setup for failure. Instead, make commitments. Small ones. And make them when you’re sober and thinking clearly. Like, ‘I’m gonna walk for 20 minutes every day.’ Or, ‘I’m gonna try to cook one healthy meal a week.’

Second, find something you enjoy. If you hate running, don’t run. If you can’t stand kale, don’t eat it. There are alot of ways to be healthy, and none of them should feel like torture.

Third, be kind to yourself. You’re gonna mess up. You’re gonna eat the cake. You’re gonna skip the workout. And that’s okay. It’s all part of the process.

The One Thing That Actually Changed Everything

About three months ago, I met this woman named Lisa. She’s a nutritionist, but not the kind who tells you to eat kale smoothies and go to CrossFit. She’s the kind who listens and actually gives practical advice.

‘You know what your problem is?’ she said to me. ‘You’re trying to change everything at once. And that’s why you’re failing.’

‘So, what do I do?’ I asked.

‘Start small,’ she said. ‘Pick one thing. Master it. Then move on to the next thing.’

And you know what? She was right. I started with hydration. I committed to drinking 2 liters of water every day. That’s it. Just water. And honestly, it was a game-changer. I had more energy. I felt better. And it was easy to stick to.

So, that’s my advice. Start small. Be kind to yourself. And for the love of god, don’t make any New Year’s resolutions.

Oh, and one more thing. If anyone invites you to a rooftop bar on New Year’s Eve, just say no. Trust me.

About the Author
Sarah Johnson is a senior magazine editor with over 20 years of experience. She’s written for major publications, but her real expertise lies in making health and wellness advice that’s actually useful. When she’s not writing, she’s probably drinking coffee, avoiding the gym, or eating cake. You can find her on Twitter @sarahjwrites.

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